Run Away to a Foreign Country

There are times in your life when you just feel the need to run away and discover the world and how you it relates to your life. And, I suppose I’ve run for the past few years now, because I’ve certainly “seen the world, been to many places.” Along the way I’ve “made lots of friends, many different races,” but I still feel as though there is so much more to learn and the benefits of leaving home outweigh the discomforts of life on the road.

I’ve always been independent and had a willful spirit despite, perhaps, not being the most outspoken and attention-seeking person around. I’m also pretty happy being alone. I’m not someone who needs a ton of people around, and, in fact, crowds probably annoy me more than energize me. I prefer observing and listening to things going on around me and not contributing to the dialogue. I suppose I’m an introvert in that way.

But, over the years I’ve met couples who travel together and find the dynamics between them interesting fodder to contemplate. Traveling with a partner definitely tests the relationship and the people. You discover things you never really knew about the other person, even when you’ve spent oodles of time together before traveling. Backpacking can definitely make or break your relationship, and I think it’s a really good way to decide if your partner is capable of being your forever love or if he or she is more of a temporary friend.

I’ve also seen many relationships blossom between travelers. Of course, there are those fleeting one-night stands that, to be honest, seem to happen loads and loads. But, miraculously, there are couples who meet while traveling who somehow string together the days, weeks and months and survive the journey even when the end of the road is near.

Meeting a beau while making a run away from reality presents a dilemma for me, and I’m unsure how I’d react to it should it happen. On one hand, my goal is to see and experience new cultures and learn about people, which in turn will help me learn about myself. It’s a quest for understanding and knowledge that I think is best done, for the most part, solo. Without solitude, it’s difficult to really reflect on your thoughts and feelings. You don’t form your own opinions because you’re susceptible to those of others.

However, sharing an experience like this with another person can also be beneficial. Intimate dialogue between two like-minded people about self-discovery, life-goal setting and more can solidify your idea of self when you have a foreign experience together. Both people are out of their comfort zones of daily routine and can discuss the likenesses and differences between cultures and attitudes. This may lead to developing a new attitude for approaching life.

I suppose the true test will come if a similar situation presents itself to me, but until then, rest assured dear readers. This gal will continue living life and loving it . . . solo. I left home alone and will probably return alone . . . and I’m totally cool with that.

What do you think about traveling by yourself versus with a partner? Have you ever sustained a holiday romance after your vacation ended?

Random Bus Stop Meeting

After a few days of sweating in Darwin, it was time to fly to Bali, Indonesia. I was definitely nervous to leave Australia because it had come to feel like home. Even after traveling for so long, it’s still intimidating to go somewhere new.

As I waited for the airport shuttle bus, I started chatting with the guy sitting next to me. Liam, who is from Wales, was also going to Bali, and we discovered that we had booked into the same hostel. Further discussion revealed we flew over on different airlines but would land at nearly the same time. The fact that we would arrive in a new country after dark set off some nervousness, so we decided to wait for each other in the Bali airport before proceeding to the hostel.

I think this knowledge greatly eased our minds. We knew we’d both be facing the unknown together. There’s strength in numbers, as they say, and we were determined to capitalize on this fact.

Unfortunately, when we arrived at the airport, Liam’s flight was seriously delayed. My flight was running late but we got off the ground fairly quickly. I had no clue when he would leave Australia, and I worried that he’d miss his flight completely due to a cancellation.

The first thing to greet me in Bali was the heat. Despite being close to 10 pm, it was even more hot and muggy than Darwin. After passing through all the necessary rigmarole and paying the tourist visa, I exited the terminal and came face to face with at least 100 taxi/shuttle drivers. Some guys sat on the ground while others stood behind them. They all had a sheet of paper with someone’s name on it. Apparently everyone pre-booked their airport transfer like I did. After several minutes, I finally found the guy holding my name, which was incorrectly spelled by the way. Since I didn’t know if Liam had even left Darwin, I decided to go with taxi guy and check into my hostel.

Liam turned up at the hostel completely frazzled by his experience. His plane had been more than two hours delayed. Once he got through customs and immigration, he couldn’t find his taxi driver. I’m sure the poor guy waited for him and must’ve given up hope in the end. Liam had to fight his way past the illegitimate taxi drivers who constantly harassed him for a ride. Some from the airport finally directed him to a proper taxi when he looked like he was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. The hair-raising ride from the airport to the hostel in the rain didn’t help matters either. Thankfully, he and I both made it in the end. What an introduction to Bali!

Reverse Culture Shock: Readjusting to Life at Home

Reverse culture shock is a phenomenon that happens when you return to your life at home after spending a significant amount of time in a different country or culture (or perhaps, like me, more than one). It is an adjustment period during which you reacquaint yourself with the ins and outs of things and emotionally and psychologically tune back in to your country’s rhythms.

Frankly, experiencing reverse culture shock when I arrived home in Hawaii surprised me. I wasn’t expecting it, but I suppose no one really is. You always leave home with an open mind and a willingness to do things according to customs in your new host country. You may even look forward to learning about the differences. But, you never realize that transitioning into your native country can be just as jarring on you mentally and emotionally.

Thinking back on it, reverse culture shock began on the way home from the airport, but I didn’t recognize it. My surroundings looked slightly different from what I remembered, as if the Earth had shifted a degree or two and things were just a bit off kilter. The differences are usually noticeable enough to trigger a question mark in your mind that things are not quite right but small enough that you can’t quite place what’s bothering you.

The biggest adjustment for me was accepting the sudden monotony that came with my life at home. Of course, for the first couple of days and weeks, I embraced the idea of being at home (even though I technically didn’t have a home of my own and was living with my brother and his family).

Being a solo traveler, you must be constantly alert and this is completely exhausting. Fighting just to get from point A to point B is a daily struggle. Being the sole decision maker can be utterly draining. But, after the travel fatigue wore off, I was ready for new challenges and adventures again. I was like a drug addict craving my next hit, except my drug of choice was traveling.

It took me a while to accept that there would be no next hit. I needed to focus on settling back into “real life.” I updated my résumé (how does one include all the skills and experiences attained through travel in a way that human resources departments will understand?) and applied to marketing and public relations jobs that I didn’t really want. I began scouring Craiglist for a used car since I sold my vehicle before I left. I did all the right things but did them half-heartedly. In the back of my mind I was really searching for a way to fulfill my need to travel.

This cycle went on for months as I watched everyone around me continue with their lives. I met up with friends and found that nothing had really changed since I’d left. How can nothing have changed when I felt so different? This is the realization that made me aware I was suffering from reverse culture shock.

As the days passed, I kept asking myself if this was it. Was this the life I was meant to live? I really didn’t want to jump back into the daily grind I left. I didn’t want to pursue some golden ring at the top of the corporate ladder. But if not that, then what?